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There you will find all manner of ladies of the night who have fiscally negotiable affections to give out to the fugly or the unwary.

In other words, if you have twenty quid in your pocket, are in dire need of a quick and rather unpleasant fuck, and are not too worried about catching disease, then the New Road is where you ought to go.

It is just outside of the Alcohol Exclusion Zone (which no one takes the blindest bit of notice of, least of all the chavs), has plenty of room to fight or fornicate in, and the lights of the Town look oh so pretty from up there, especially when trollied out of your skull on whatever name they've given to that white cider stuff chavs are so fond of consuming.

However if you want to be surrounded by fine servicemen of the British Army who wants nothing more than to fornicate with the many horrendously easy women of Chatham, then the nightclub Preach (Danger Zone, The Zone, Cock fest) is right up your street.

The physiology of the Chatham Girl tends to fall into one of two extremes: the ultra-skinny crack whore or the fat assed slut with big gold earrings, exposed midrifts, tight short skirts and no knickers (American English = Panties).