(That's why you might be unnerved by a moving shadow after seeing a horror movie.) The usual reaction to fear is hypervigilence.
The inability to distinguish objections to a loved one's behavior from value for the loved one is at the heart of emotional abuse.
You can and must negotiate about the behavior you don't like (you can even condemn it) without devaluing the person you love.
Here are examples: "You shouldn't spend so much on clothes, you don't look good anyway.""Don't complain about how bad you have it, no one else could love you.""Working and taking courses is too much for you; you can't handle what you need to do now.""Your friends and family just want something from you.""I have to drink to be able to stand you.""One of these days you'll wake up, and I'll be gone.""You don't know the first thing about raising kids." It's important to note that most emotional abuse is not as direct and verbal as these examples.
All the above can be implied with sarcasm, irony, or mumblings and can be communicated with body language, rolling eyes, sighs, grimaces, tone of voice, disgusted looks, cold shoulders, slamming doors, banging dishes, stonewalling, cold shoulders, etc.
") Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day.