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“If they’re trying to see what your interests are, what matters to you, and ask about your friends and family, it’s worth seeing where it goes.”When you’re feeling a connection, of course you want to spend tons of time together, but make sure to pace yourself. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being open about what you’re looking for in a potential match, and communicating that up front, but don’t be too aggressive.” Not only can that kind of behavior scare someone off—it’s just not how you, as an independent and confident woman, need to live.

“Your world keeps moving on regardless of how much you like someone,” says Nelson.

Who wants to be the one who always texts first or shows affection?

That doesn’t bode well for how this person would behave as a partner, anyway.

“If someone is into you, you don’t have to convince them of your worthiness, or make them see how much of a gem you are,” says Nelson.